I might be in over my head here when I start trying to blog about seemingly legit hip-hop. I was thoroughly unfamiliar with this artist...or even how he got in my music library for that matter. Holy hot damn, how do you even pronounce this guy's name?! I swear that over the course of various songs he refers to himself alternately as
1.) Auk - nell: a likely pronunciation as hinted at by the album title Aktapuss
2.) Auk- in - el: a three-syllable pronunciation that he uses himself nearly as often as the first
3.) Auk - i - nelly: my first guess before I heard anything, and I was thrilled to hear him and his associates use this pronunciation on more than one occasion, despite adding to the confusion.
4.) Auk-ni-zel: an entirely expected deviation, but one that only served to muddy the waters further.
Turns out Akinyele (ækɪnˈɛli/) is his real name and he was born in 1970 in New York to Costa Rican
and Panamanian parents in Queens(,which doesn't matter except: did we assume
he was black? Is that a problem? He looked African American to me.) He does have a song that repeats his name over and over again, but that song is an obscure B-side I heard well after listening to this three main albums. More prominently, a few times he mentions getting mad when people say his name wrong, which hardly seems fair. This doesn't sound like a guy you want to upset either. He makes it clear that his mind is clear and focused because he does not drink or smoke anything. Violence is all he's got. Violence and fucking, but, in his case, I repeat myself. I cannot really condone this endlessly stream of violent misogyny, but...if I'm being brutally honest with myself then I'd actually much rather listen to this than say, Will Smith's milquetoast rhymes. I'm slightly embarrassed by how much I appreciated this stuff upon repeated listening. Especially in today's trap-, glitch-, and novelty-filled rap world, the sounds and styles of classic hip-hop were refreshing. I listened loudly, and eventually came to really like a few key tracks, including what turned out to be most of the only five singles he released between 1993 and his swan songs in 2001.
I think Rob Swift appears on an early Akinyele album, but this guy is not good at listing personnel on the tracks. Granted, I'm listening streaming, as opposed to holding the thing in my hand, but I looked at some scans of those CD backs and there are precious few "(feat.)"s listed for any of the tracks, despite plenty having other people featured prominently. I actually didn't even get to listen to the hilariously titled and commercially unsuccessful Vagina Diner. Instead , I started right off with his most well-known hit "Put it in Your Mouth" from an EP of the same name that came out in 1996. I hope I don't have to be too defensive about my appreciation for a relatively decent song with a sweet, singsongy chorus of a lady saying, "put it in my mouth, my motherfucking mouth." Lovely. The music on this particular track is a relatively sparse beat over a slightly out-of-place acoustic guitar strum, but Kia Jeffries does get listed credit for singing the chorus and rapping a fine verse too. (It's pretty unfortunate though, that in 2019 Jeffries would go on to straight-up kill her wanted, ex-boxer husband after the bastard repeatedly pistol whipped her; she did NOT face charges and, after failed attempts to make a new band, is currently pursuing a solo career as Kia "Babydoll" Jeffries, which, you know, might be worth checking out. Maybe.) From the same EP "The Robbery Song" contains an interlude of intolerable violence, but is another of his most popular tracks. And "Fuck Me for Free" follows "Put it In Your Mouth" as his second most successful song, but not my second favorite. If you need some 90s visuals, here it is:
My second favorite song is undoubtedly "Take A Lick," which, while somewhat inappropriate and problematic, I couldn't help finding hilarious with some sweet hooks. It is pretty much an anthem about NOT sucking dick, although it concludes with a shout out "to all my dick suckers in the house, what up? and all my clit lickers in the house, what up?" Again he shares the whole track with a female vocalist, this time a totally uncredited British lass with a thick accent, who is a basically a legendary champ for standing up to Akinyele when he tries to shove his dick in her mouth after she "took him around [London] and shit." In fact, she claims she "was gonna fuck him though, I was gonna give him some of this pussy, but he started talking some of this wild shit." Sample lines from her: "No, I'm not doin' it, get your hand off my head. Move it out of my face, I don't believe in that shit." I'm trying to decide if that's assault or not. It's a strong contender for attempted assault, but if that's the case then I played the song in its entirety far too many times. In the chorus, he threatens, "Oh yes you will be lickin' my dick tonight," to which she gingerly replies, "Oh no I motherfuckin' won't." Balanced, I suppose. At the very least, it hasn't aged very well in our more enlightened 21st century society. Yet he spits some undeniably clever rhymes. Frankly, the song is an excellent vehicle to show he's a power-house rapper with brutal delivery, and he's really good at it with a sharp-wit too. ("I'll be like Herbie and hand you a cock.") Without a huge hip-hop vocabulary to pull on, I want to say that he reminds of someone like DMX: super angry and aggressive on every single track. To some, there's an appeal in hearing that power captured on tape. But, he's pretty damn funny sometimes too.
"Take a Lick" is from his album Aktapuss, his main studio album from 1999. Merely skimming the song titles gives a good sense of the album. First up is, "Pussy Makes the World Go 'Round" (and who am I to argue). The song "Butt Naked" isn't his most clever, but it's fairly straightforward; the chorus is: "Let's get butt naked and fuck. Forget the party, let's have an orgie," so yes, he rhymes "party" with "orgie." There's also "Rather Fuck You" and "Sex in The City," but he'll straight up kill you if you are "Messin' with my Cru," which isn't about sex but has another memorable female-sung hook. The raunchiest song "Three," which yet again relies on an unnamed lady singer for the melody, is goddamn filthy and hilarious: he wonders aloud if various triads throughout the last several decades of popular culture every got it on. His whole long, impressive list is worth reading:
Bravo, sir. I nearly lost it over the Flipper line. "Outlandish shit" indeed! That pun about the Fugees is freakin' brilliant, though I doubt Ms. Lauryn, or some of these other ladies, would appreciate the speculation. And, hold up, did he just say, "When it comes to bi-sex, I'm the motherfuckin' best"?! Sadly, he probably just hopes the two girls are gonna make out or whatever. The answer to most of these questions is decidedly, "No," but let's take a minute to answer two of Akinyele's legitimate and non-rhetorical questions: 1.) That girl from Digable Planets was Ladybug Mecca (she's from Silver Spring, MD and still kicking it); and 2.) The Puerto Rican from New York Undercover was Michael DeLorenzo playing Detective Eddie Torres.
The next album is more of the same, sex and violence, but it features an extraordinary standout track, the funky "Do You Wanna?" The tracks is downright progressive (or at least neo-liberal) in the way that he splits it up evenly with the lady he's trading verses with, both of them talking about everybody they fucked everywhere. It's a real shame, but despite being a massively talented rapper I utterly failed my attempt to identify her after lengthy searches. All I could turn up was this seemingly official video, which she's not it. It's porn. Yep, his video is actual porn, so probably don't click on that. But this ridicluous and awesome song is firmly in the tradition of other dirty raps, from the likes of 2 Live Crew and sometimes Afroman and likely other artist further down the alphabet.
1.) Auk - nell: a likely pronunciation as hinted at by the album title Aktapuss
2.) Auk- in - el: a three-syllable pronunciation that he uses himself nearly as often as the first
3.) Auk - i - nelly: my first guess before I heard anything, and I was thrilled to hear him and his associates use this pronunciation on more than one occasion, despite adding to the confusion.
4.) Auk-ni-zel: an entirely expected deviation, but one that only served to muddy the waters further.
Turns out Akinyele (ækɪnˈɛli/) is his real name and he was born in 1970 in New York to Costa Rican
and Panamanian parents in Queens(,which doesn't matter except: did we assume
he was black? Is that a problem? He looked African American to me.) He does have a song that repeats his name over and over again, but that song is an obscure B-side I heard well after listening to this three main albums. More prominently, a few times he mentions getting mad when people say his name wrong, which hardly seems fair. This doesn't sound like a guy you want to upset either. He makes it clear that his mind is clear and focused because he does not drink or smoke anything. Violence is all he's got. Violence and fucking, but, in his case, I repeat myself. I cannot really condone this endlessly stream of violent misogyny, but...if I'm being brutally honest with myself then I'd actually much rather listen to this than say, Will Smith's milquetoast rhymes. I'm slightly embarrassed by how much I appreciated this stuff upon repeated listening. Especially in today's trap-, glitch-, and novelty-filled rap world, the sounds and styles of classic hip-hop were refreshing. I listened loudly, and eventually came to really like a few key tracks, including what turned out to be most of the only five singles he released between 1993 and his swan songs in 2001.
I think Rob Swift appears on an early Akinyele album, but this guy is not good at listing personnel on the tracks. Granted, I'm listening streaming, as opposed to holding the thing in my hand, but I looked at some scans of those CD backs and there are precious few "(feat.)"s listed for any of the tracks, despite plenty having other people featured prominently. I actually didn't even get to listen to the hilariously titled and commercially unsuccessful Vagina Diner. Instead , I started right off with his most well-known hit "Put it in Your Mouth" from an EP of the same name that came out in 1996. I hope I don't have to be too defensive about my appreciation for a relatively decent song with a sweet, singsongy chorus of a lady saying, "put it in my mouth, my motherfucking mouth." Lovely. The music on this particular track is a relatively sparse beat over a slightly out-of-place acoustic guitar strum, but Kia Jeffries does get listed credit for singing the chorus and rapping a fine verse too. (It's pretty unfortunate though, that in 2019 Jeffries would go on to straight-up kill her wanted, ex-boxer husband after the bastard repeatedly pistol whipped her; she did NOT face charges and, after failed attempts to make a new band, is currently pursuing a solo career as Kia "Babydoll" Jeffries, which, you know, might be worth checking out. Maybe.) From the same EP "The Robbery Song" contains an interlude of intolerable violence, but is another of his most popular tracks. And "Fuck Me for Free" follows "Put it In Your Mouth" as his second most successful song, but not my second favorite. If you need some 90s visuals, here it is:
My second favorite song is undoubtedly "Take A Lick," which, while somewhat inappropriate and problematic, I couldn't help finding hilarious with some sweet hooks. It is pretty much an anthem about NOT sucking dick, although it concludes with a shout out "to all my dick suckers in the house, what up? and all my clit lickers in the house, what up?" Again he shares the whole track with a female vocalist, this time a totally uncredited British lass with a thick accent, who is a basically a legendary champ for standing up to Akinyele when he tries to shove his dick in her mouth after she "took him around [London] and shit." In fact, she claims she "was gonna fuck him though, I was gonna give him some of this pussy, but he started talking some of this wild shit." Sample lines from her: "No, I'm not doin' it, get your hand off my head. Move it out of my face, I don't believe in that shit." I'm trying to decide if that's assault or not. It's a strong contender for attempted assault, but if that's the case then I played the song in its entirety far too many times. In the chorus, he threatens, "Oh yes you will be lickin' my dick tonight," to which she gingerly replies, "Oh no I motherfuckin' won't." Balanced, I suppose. At the very least, it hasn't aged very well in our more enlightened 21st century society. Yet he spits some undeniably clever rhymes. Frankly, the song is an excellent vehicle to show he's a power-house rapper with brutal delivery, and he's really good at it with a sharp-wit too. ("I'll be like Herbie and hand you a cock.") Without a huge hip-hop vocabulary to pull on, I want to say that he reminds of someone like DMX: super angry and aggressive on every single track. To some, there's an appeal in hearing that power captured on tape. But, he's pretty damn funny sometimes too.
"Take a Lick" is from his album Aktapuss, his main studio album from 1999. Merely skimming the song titles gives a good sense of the album. First up is, "Pussy Makes the World Go 'Round" (and who am I to argue). The song "Butt Naked" isn't his most clever, but it's fairly straightforward; the chorus is: "Let's get butt naked and fuck. Forget the party, let's have an orgie," so yes, he rhymes "party" with "orgie." There's also "Rather Fuck You" and "Sex in The City," but he'll straight up kill you if you are "Messin' with my Cru," which isn't about sex but has another memorable female-sung hook. The raunchiest song "Three," which yet again relies on an unnamed lady singer for the melody, is goddamn filthy and hilarious: he wonders aloud if various triads throughout the last several decades of popular culture every got it on. His whole long, impressive list is worth reading:
Did Ginger and Marianne ever hit The Skipper?
The Three's Company chicks ever fuck Jack Tripper?
Did Orca and Jaws ever run up in Flipper?
Did that Spud dog ever fuck them three frog Bud sippers?
Huh, that's outlandish shit
...
Was Wyclef and Praswell scorin on Lauryn?
Was Lil' Cease and Un hittin Lil' Kim?
Did Red Alert and Scale ever fuck Wendy well?
Did Ak and Flex ever fuck Jess and Stress?
Shit, we can take it down the alphabets
Did SWV get with TLC
And fuck them three fellas down with BBD?
Remember Mike Bivins, ABC
They had more than three
But if they cut a few
Would they fuck them three girls from 702?
Would Erykah Badu fuck them two righteous dudes
From the Brand Nubian crew and include Grand Pu?
Did Mary J. Blige ever fuck Case and Nas?
Was Arnold or Willis ever cummin on Kimberly Drummond?
Check it, remember this record:
And when I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that
I don't know they name, damn it
But I wonder did them niggas ever ram it
In that girl from Digable Planets?
Remember in the early '80s, did ---The Three's Company chicks ever fuck Jack Tripper?
Did Orca and Jaws ever run up in Flipper?
Did that Spud dog ever fuck them three frog Bud sippers?
Huh, that's outlandish shit
...
Was Wyclef and Praswell scorin on Lauryn?
Was Lil' Cease and Un hittin Lil' Kim?
Did Red Alert and Scale ever fuck Wendy well?
Did Ak and Flex ever fuck Jess and Stress?
Shit, we can take it down the alphabets
Did SWV get with TLC
And fuck them three fellas down with BBD?
Remember Mike Bivins, ABC
They had more than three
But if they cut a few
Would they fuck them three girls from 702?
Would Erykah Badu fuck them two righteous dudes
From the Brand Nubian crew and include Grand Pu?
Did Mary J. Blige ever fuck Case and Nas?
Was Arnold or Willis ever cummin on Kimberly Drummond?
Check it, remember this record:
And when I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that
I don't know they name, damn it
But I wonder did them niggas ever ram it
In that girl from Digable Planets?
Fuck them ladies from the Brady's?
Stanford & Son fuck Esther Grady
Or could it be
Ed Lover and Dr. Dre fucked Lisa G?
Is it that old school chick
Gladys Knight fucked them Pips?
And damsels, we goin back to old school jams
Did UTFO fuck The Real Roxanne?
Did Cagney and Lacey ever fuck Dick Tracy?
Did Jasmine Guy ever fuck Teddy Ri'
And them other two guys
Cause they was all part of Guy
Remember Aaron Hall, Damon Hall
Did the Gay Rapper ever fuck Ru Paul two balls?
Who you want to sex, where you want to sex
And when it comes to talkin bi-sex, I'm the muthafuckin best
Check the rhyme, did Changing Faces
Ever let R. Kelly bump and grind in they behind?
Did Laverne and Shirley ever fuck Carmine?
Was Gina and Pam humpin on Martin?
And all you freaks on that motorcycle shit
I wonder would you ever fuck them two police from Chips?
New York Undercover, what's that Puerto Rican's name?
Yeah, did him and Leeroy fuck Debbie Allen from Fame?
And if Miss Braxton said at first, then three times 'I'm feelin horny'
Does it mean she's fuckin Tony Toni Tonë?
Stanford & Son fuck Esther Grady
Or could it be
Ed Lover and Dr. Dre fucked Lisa G?
Is it that old school chick
Gladys Knight fucked them Pips?
And damsels, we goin back to old school jams
Did UTFO fuck The Real Roxanne?
Did Cagney and Lacey ever fuck Dick Tracy?
Did Jasmine Guy ever fuck Teddy Ri'
And them other two guys
Cause they was all part of Guy
Remember Aaron Hall, Damon Hall
Did the Gay Rapper ever fuck Ru Paul two balls?
Who you want to sex, where you want to sex
And when it comes to talkin bi-sex, I'm the muthafuckin best
Check the rhyme, did Changing Faces
Ever let R. Kelly bump and grind in they behind?
Did Laverne and Shirley ever fuck Carmine?
Was Gina and Pam humpin on Martin?
And all you freaks on that motorcycle shit
I wonder would you ever fuck them two police from Chips?
New York Undercover, what's that Puerto Rican's name?
Yeah, did him and Leeroy fuck Debbie Allen from Fame?
And if Miss Braxton said at first, then three times 'I'm feelin horny'
Does it mean she's fuckin Tony Toni Tonë?
Bravo, sir. I nearly lost it over the Flipper line. "Outlandish shit" indeed! That pun about the Fugees is freakin' brilliant, though I doubt Ms. Lauryn, or some of these other ladies, would appreciate the speculation. And, hold up, did he just say, "When it comes to bi-sex, I'm the motherfuckin' best"?! Sadly, he probably just hopes the two girls are gonna make out or whatever. The answer to most of these questions is decidedly, "No," but let's take a minute to answer two of Akinyele's legitimate and non-rhetorical questions: 1.) That girl from Digable Planets was Ladybug Mecca (she's from Silver Spring, MD and still kicking it); and 2.) The Puerto Rican from New York Undercover was Michael DeLorenzo playing Detective Eddie Torres.
The next album is more of the same, sex and violence, but it features an extraordinary standout track, the funky "Do You Wanna?" The tracks is downright progressive (or at least neo-liberal) in the way that he splits it up evenly with the lady he's trading verses with, both of them talking about everybody they fucked everywhere. It's a real shame, but despite being a massively talented rapper I utterly failed my attempt to identify her after lengthy searches. All I could turn up was this seemingly official video, which she's not it. It's porn. Yep, his video is actual porn, so probably don't click on that. But this ridicluous and awesome song is firmly in the tradition of other dirty raps, from the likes of 2 Live Crew and sometimes Afroman and likely other artist further down the alphabet.
A random song that somehow doesn't appear on any of those albums, but ranks high in download/streaming popularity, is "Loud Hangover," which was my introduction to a Funkmaster Flex mixtape it appeared on in 1995. It took me a minute to figure out this is actually a dirty old Funkmaster Flex song, and that plenty of people actually know Akinyele from that album (at first glance, it seems stellar) - and other stuff he appeared on around that time. Specifically, he is perhaps best known for his appearance on "Live at the Barbeque" from Main Source's 1991 album Breaking Atoms. It's their biggest track, and possibly bigger than anything he did himself. People know him for this, but I did not. Again, this is what happens when I try to write about hip hop, so give me a minute to catch up.
The only other thing to hear is a completely bonkers live album that certainly sounds like a fake live album, with canned crowd noises fading in and out as required. In some ways it is good classic hip hop from actual breaks and samples and what not, but it also seems like fake hype: yelling into an overblown mic pretending it's in front of a crowd. We didn't need that.
He hasn't done much in the last 15-years or so, musically, but he seems to be a revered veteran of the NYC scene, as indicated by his informative perspective on a semi-recent beef between Nas and Jay-Z (if we care about that). Perhaps unsurprisingly his current occupation is "owner and operator of multiple strip clubs," and my heart really goes out to those girls. A bit more shocking is the fact that he wanted to be the mayor of South Beach Miami, apparently because of an obsession with regulations on his clubs. I got all that from this article, which was the first time I learned that "Live at the BBQ" was not just Auk's debut but also Nas's, so maybe that's got a bit to do with why people know it. Even with a fairly limited repertoire, he stills seems to have made a significant impact on the world of hip-hop. "Fuck Me for Free" seems to be a memorable song for people other than me, especially consider a recent remake with DJ Khalid and Drake making waves. Considering just the relative excellence and staying power of "Put It In Your Mouth" and "Take a Lick," his shadow looms large over a certain type of rap.
akinyele.com is currently for sale.
